Remnants awaiting disposal

On hindsight,

I made you lose so much you don't deserve to lose.

The old pictures of you and them are testament to that.

I feel sorry, maybe I should not have gone for you?

Then you will still keep your friends, and I will get over my sadness

Then everything might be better than how it is now.

Then you will not keep wanting and needing to start a fresh.

As far as everything else is going right now, I still believe you had your reasons for how you treated me.

And I am at fault, probably you have high expectations for your loved one because you need so to love more.

I fall short of the expectations, severely.

But well, saying I've been really trying to meet them may not seem good enough for you I suppose.

Whatever the case, I feel remorseful for how things are now with you and them.

And I just hope that one day

Everyone can put everything to the past

And be friends again.


That being said,

I know things will never be the same again...

I am lying to myself if I say that I can forget the past

Because I can't

Yes, things will never be the same again. With you, with me, with everyone else.

But that is life I guess? A facet of it that we have to embrace.

I'm glad you have your close group of friends

Who are always willing to support you

I wouldn't mind you bitching to them about me, about my bad things, if it would make you feel better in the end

If it would make you feel the world is a fair place

If it would make you feel loved by someone.


Speaking of which, I know I am not the one to you

The one to you is probably the one you are willing to sacrifice for

And able to meet all your expectations

I believe you will find the one

And you will be happier ever after

Because you deserve better than me


You will never read this, but well, I would say I was naive?

To really really believe that one day we will get married, that things will work out

That I can be the lucky guy to bring you to Disney lands

That I can be the lucky guy to bring our family to USS

Well, its a learning journey for me too

And the gripes of reality just hit me that ideals do not exist


O well, the rantings,

If all else fails, theres only these things I pray for you

To stay healthy, to stay happy, to be saved one day.

Take care.